Touch the sky
Wear ‘em high
You can do what you want
Hair down to there
Make ‘em stare
You can be what you want
Take your fear
Celebrate confusion
Boys will be girls
Will be boys
Will be girls
It’s a revolution
In the late 1980s, a group called the CLCC quietly began meeting in Minneapolis. Though the group's purpose was primarily social, the group was intensely secretive. Membership required an extensive interview. In addition, members didn't know each other’s real names, and the group never met in the same place twice. The group's full name was the City of Lakes Crossdressers Club; its primary goal was to provide a safe space for the local transgender community. The words 'trans' and 'transgender' weren't in wide use back then, and awareness of trans issues in the larger community was nonexistent, leaving CLCC members with every reason to fear that exposure as 'crossdressers' could lead to the loss of friends, family, jobs, and careers.
Against this backdrop, a young musician named Steve was fronting a local punk band when he declared to his fellow musicians what he had known for a long time; he wasn't a man named Steve but a woman named Venus. When Venus came out to her bandmates, she got little support from them because 'crossdressing isn't punk.' Summoning profound courage, Venus went public with her trans self anyway, found new band members, and eventually began performing as All the Pretty Horses (and later as Venus DeMars and All the Pretty Horses.)
AtPH quickly became known for its electrifying live performances, with band members dressing to match their gender and sexual identities and dancers interpreting the songs with high-powered spotlights, bubble guns, confetti, roses, and elaborate fashion accessories. AtPH shows were a heady, intoxicating chance for fans and band members to truly be themselves.
Venus' music is a fluid amalgam of genres, including goth, glam, punk, and metal, each not particularly known for a solid representation of women, especially trans women. Until Venus and a few others came along, this music was almost exclusively a male domain; perhaps because only men were thought capable of writing and performing hard-edged music that explored feelings of anger, desperation, and alienation. Venus DeMars proved the absurdity of that attitude.
Many of Venus' songs are deeply personal reflections on her life and the trials she has endured. Her intimately written songs have a universal quality that connects with anybody afflicted by life or suffering through an existential crisis. It was this aspect of her music that initially drew me to it.
Shortly after I met Venus, my life crumbled around me. In the space of three weeks, I was diagnosed with a 7 cm long malignant tumor in my thyroid, I was diagnosed with an unrelated auto-immune disease, and my wife of 17 years, a college professor, abruptly left me to move in with one of her students. It was a lot to absorb, and I felt desperately alone and hopeless. My life felt like it was over much too soon.
In what now seems like an incredibly fortunate decision, I brought a camera to an All the Pretty Horses show. I discovered I could make meaningful photographs unlike any I had ever imagined. More importantly, I found a home where people were glad to see me. Together, we could revel in loud and powerful music that encouraged us to be whoever we truly were. This was a revelation for someone wondering if there was any point in living a 'broken' life.
Isn't so strange
Doesn't take change
That you can't manage
Isn't so hard
Let down your guard
Be a friend
I want this project to shine a light on Venus' groundbreaking art and convey the beauty and power of being transgender. And while Venus is a true musical pioneer, she is also a musician like thousands of others – gigging, trying to get her music heard, and ultimately working to make a living from her art. She just happens to be transgender. I hope this project conveys what makes her unique and incredible, as well as the humanity that makes her like so many of us endeavouring to succeed in our chosen pursuits. She is extraordinary for her courage and determination and ordinary in her human needs and aspirations. Perhaps in the future, a project like this will be interesting only for the strength of its photos, and the gender details of its subjects won't be all that remarkable. We can all look forward to that day.
A larger gallery of photos from this project is also available.